pet peeves.

i have been told i have a lot of these (some i think are actually rational). so i thought it would be a good idea for me to compile a list of them. you know, so you know the do's and don't's of being around me and my unfortunate temper.
here is a (non-comprehensive) list of some erc related triggers:
1. FREE PENNIES
take a penny leave a penny is for taking A penny. NOT taking all TWELVE pennies you need for your large coffee. even the three you take for your medium flavored latte irk me.
2. LINE JUMPERS
when i ask if i can get a drink started for you, you can just yell it to me. (this is the only time it is okay to yell at me). when you jump out of line, and walk up to the machine, you throw off the flow. NO ONE KNOWS WHO IS NEXT NOW. congratulations you just caused a clusterfuck at the register.
3. ORPHAN DISHES
do not leave your dirty dishes on any available counter area you see. there are two PROPER receptacles for them. (i.e. the bus tubs). the polite thing to do is to place your dishes in these, rather than NEXT to THESE, next to the microwave, by the blender, or behind the espresso machine. the first two will take me forever to get to. the latter I WILL NEVER SEE.
4. "THAT'S A SMALL??"
yes, our small is small. it sits at a stout 10 ounces. but let's be honest. it is not THAT SMALL. i cannot count the number of times a day i hear "whoa that IS small. give me a medium." THIS IS INSANE. THE CUP IS SITTING RIGHT THERE. YOU CAN SEE IT. I AM NOT SURPRISING YOU. and really i doubt you will notice the 2 ounces that differ between our beverages and the competition
5. SELF CUP GRABBERS
i understand that at times, my job seems easy. take your money, give you a cup, send you on down the counter to the coffees. BUT I STILL DO IT. I STILL DO GIVE YOU A CUP. i do not expect you to grab your own off the stack. we all know you will have waaay too much trouble deciphering which cup corresponds to the size you ordered. so rather than ASSUMING (which makes an ass out of u and i) that i am not going to hand you a cup and taking your own, WHY DON'T YOU LOOK AT THE GODDAMN COUNTER DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU WHERE I HAVE ALREADY PLACED YOUR CUP.
6. SMOOTHIES
also polar caps
7. CAN I HAVE LESS ICE THAN THAT??
sure, if you want a luke warm drink. there is a reason i fill the cup so full of ice. it is GOING TO MELT WHEN I ADD 200 DEGREE ESPRESSO TO IT. but hey, if you are into mediocrity in your drinks, then i can do whatever you want.
8. ICED DRINKS ORDERED WITH NO ICE
again, you are going to have a room temperature drink that cannot decide if it wants to be hot or cold. also, i will not fill your cup as full, because you are probably also trying to pull one over on me by getting MORE drink in your iceless cup.
9. NAPKINS?
what kind of fast/self service food service establishment does not offer napkins? look a bit harder. they are generally white and rectangular. and NOT located behind the counter. so you don't have to ask me if we have them or where they are. obviously we do, and they are right behind you.
10. THE UNDECIDEDS
when you guys all just mill about in the lobby, i cannot tell who is next in line. so when i say i can help whoever is ready to order, i am first and foremost trying to establish order and keep things moving. i am also operating under the (incorrect) assumption that if you then approach the counter, it means YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. and are therefore READY TO ORDER. if you place yourself ahead of the other undecideds, I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH YOU CONTINUE TO STARE AT THE MENU FOR 5 MINUTES. NOW, the others HAVE DECIDED and you are just holding up a rapidly forming line.

i guess i don't know if these are all considered "pet peeves" or not per se, but they sure as hell irritate me. and while we're on that subject... stop asking me if i punched your card, i DID. stop complaining about price increases, i DID NOT change them. stop asking about sandwiches. if you don't see them on the menu or ANYWHERE in the store, we probably do not have them. unless of course you say the magic password in which case we have a full secret deli you are entitled to.