"if you see something, say something"

-ChicagoTransitAuthority motto.

in the span of about 48 hours, i saw (and heard) many many things on CTA vehicles that i probably should have said something about. i didn't. but now i will.

this will help illustrate.

wednesday. 8:48 am. northbound redline train.
a middle aged man chugs two cans of busch light in astonishing succession. he placed his empties on the floor. litterbug. he had a red duffel bag containing the rest of his 6-pack. he next pulled out a WAD of bills. and counted them. and said "where did i GET all this money?!?!"

thursday. 11:02 am. loyola redline southbound platform.
before even boarding the train, i heard a man(lady?) screaming "SHE PUT HER HANDS ON ME AND SHE TOUCH ME! SHE LAY HANDS ON ME! YOU CAN'T DOOO THAT TO PEOPLE!!" a short verbal argument ensued, the details of which i am not privy to :(

thursday 11:09 am. southbound redline train. between bryn mawr and berwyn.
a gentleman begins quietly talking on his cell phone. he slowly gets louder. and louder. it becomes clear he is highly agitated. he starts throwing around f-bombs all willy nilly. "YO. I TOLD YOU. I WILL BE THERE IN LIKE 3 MINUTES. TELL THAT BITCH TO HOLD TIGHT. IMA GONNA BE THERE. IM GONNA BE THERE IN LIKE 2 MINUTES. IM LIKE TWO STOPS AWAY FROM WILSON. WE JUST WE JUST PASSED ADDISON. SHERIDAN IS NEXT. IMA BE THERE IN LIKE ONE SECOND. TELL THAT BITCH TO WAIT IN THE CAR. PUT HER ON THE PHONE."
as a side note. this was not even remotely true. were on the complete opposite side of wilson moving in the opposite direction. at first i assumed he was confused. i later realized he was either lying his ass off, or was so fucked up he actually believed we were at a completely different station. additional side note: wilson is the scariest stop on the subway. period. i almost lived off of that stop. i almost died off of that stop. he continued on for quite a while. "PUT HER ON THE PHONE. WAIT IN THE CAR. ITZ COLD. PUT THAT BITCH ON THE PHONE. MAN SHE IS CRAYZAY. SHE IS WHACK. IMA GONNA POP THAT BITCH UPSIDE THE FACE WHEN I SEE HER." that was when i should have said something. as another side note, this guy was wandering around the crowded train trying to find a corner to whisper into his phone. he seemed to forget that whispering entailed lowering one's voice. also, at one point he fell onto an innocent bystander as the train rounded a bend. i know this because he then shouted into his phone "OH SHIT YO. I JUST FELL ON SOME FUCKING DUDE. HAHA." the fucking dude did not seem to think it was quite so funny. neither did i.

thursday 11:09 am. southbound redline train. between bryn mawr and berwyn.
that's right. this was occurring simultaneously. two fellas conduct a very loud conversation assessing the pros and cons of various jails around the greater cook county area. specifically sheridan federal correctional institution.
 i learned that most of them have terrible food options. sometimes, gentleman one would just sell his tray. and not nearly large enough portions. "you gotta double tray it," gentleman two commiserates. also, you have to pay $1.00 for fried chicken. to circumvent this, guy one's momma would bring him chicken all the time. she didn't like the junk they fed her son. if you ask me, it looks like a pretty well-thought out, balanced diet. they were also quite opinionated about their "cellies." guy one couldn't have any of "those homosexuals" in his cell. because of his religion. if they tried to stick him with one of "those homosexuals," he could sue them. it was against his religion. he couldn't be with members of the arayan nation either. even if they rescinded their allegiance. his religion did not allow it. he could slap the state with a lawsuit if they tried it. hmm. guy two did not want to do anything constructive while in prison. he did not want to work. he did not want to socialize or learn. he just wanted to do his time and get out. fair enough.


thursday. 3:30 pm, #152 Addison to Cumberland
individual is spotted drinking a natty light in trasit. this is especially risky on a bus seeing as the driver has large mirrors to watch the passengers and is seated less than 20 yards away. he however was successful in his intoxication endeavors.

thursday. 3:37 pm, #152 Addison to Cumberland

(this is just funny). a group of young high schoolers boards the bus. they sit in the back across from me. they laugh and joke and are loud, but overall fairly benign. one girl (crystal) begins annoying another (tina) by placing her foot in tina's lap. tina pushes it off. crystal puts it back on. this is still all in good fun. they are jovial. crystal slams her foot in tina's lap one more time. tina goes to untie crystal's shoe. "NOOOOO!! GOD GIRL DON'T DO THAT!! I AM TOO FAT TO TIE THOSE SHOE LACES! I CAN'T BE BENDING DOWN TO TIE THEM. I HAVE TO TAKE THEM OFF AND TIE THEM AND THEN SLIP THEM ON. I CAN'T BEND DOWN LIKE THAT. MY BODY TOO BIG!!" laughter ensued. myself included this time.

sorry so long.