"hey shortie"

ONE. i do not like it when normal, respectable men with jobs call me shortie. TWO. i do not like it even more when homeless men try to charm me using shortie. THREE. congratulations i am not giving you bills for your grubby change anymore. FOUR. i don't care if you think i am mean/racist/rude/disrespectful/short.

sorry tony (aka t-bone aka guy with watery eyes aka guy who sleeps/bleeds from the face in erc). sometimes you try and get me to cash your change in. sometimes you get people in line to buy you a coffee. how was i supposed to know that you were actually going to buy an honest cup of coffee? i mean, there are better ways for a homeless man to spend his $1.59. oh, maybe you aren't hungry because you ate that nice fruit leather i gave you yesterday? oh, wait, what's that? YOU DIDN'T EAT THAT FRUIT LEATHER. YOU REJECTED IT BECAUSE YOU WOULD RATHER COLLECT MONEY FOR DRINKS (coffee or otherwise, i assume).

maybe if you got off your phone i wouldn't have to ask you the same question three times and finally give up after receiving no response. likewise, perhaps you would not have to ask me to repeat the price of your parfait FOUR FUCKING TIMES. i don't know what you are not understanding, I SAID THREE NINETY EIGHT.

hey buddy with the decaf latte drink, stop trying to pay us with your "fake"
credit card. i know it is going to get declined EVERY TIME I SWIPE IT. because it is not real. or not YOURS (i.e. stolen). you think we are going to start making your drink and then when we find out it is declined we are just going to give you the drink for free since we already made it? WELL, WE'RE NOT. we see you coming declined credit card man and we DO NOT start making your drink. because we know you will not buy anything in any sort of legitimate fashion.

smiley (aka anthony), you are learning. i no longer have to argue with you about your banishment from the cafe. all i have to do is shake my head when you try to walk in the door, and you turn and leave. congratulations, this is improvement. keep up the good work.